My Choice
by usuallybored
Summary: This story is about suicide and cutting. It is dedicated to all those people who can't take life. It's to everyoen whose ever felt pain so great, that they mentally, and sometimes physically kill themselves over it.


**This is written from my heart, out of some personal experience. In here I write some of my views on self harm. Please no fire. Well you can write fire on how its written, but not on self harm itself.**

"Hey, uh Sam, can I talk to you?"

"What do you want, dork."

"During iCarly, your, your sleeve went down a little."

She froze. "So?"

"So, I saw, some, some lines."

"Yeah, called veins. Keeps you alive."

"But, but, it was red, not blue."

"WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT!"

"I'm saying, Sam. Are you, are you cutting yourself?"

She didn't answer.

"You don't need to tell me why. I'm not going to tell you that it's best to tell someone, I just want to know if you are, and if I have anything to do with it."

She sighed. "Yes."

"To which one?"

"You said you wouldn't question me."

"Sorry."

"I, have to go, feed, Frothy. See you later." She quickly walked out.

_Why Sam, why would you do that. _

Over the next few weeks, Sam didn't act the same around Freddie. He knew one of her deepest darkest secrets. One that if he told, would kill her. Literally.

Freddie didn't act the same around Sam. He knew one of her deepest secrets. One that if he told anyone, it would kill her.

"Sam, can I talk to you?" It had been what she had been trying to avoid. She was never ever alone with him in the same room anymore. She was afraid of this. She knew what was coming. He was going to tell her that the best thing is to tell someone.

"I guess."

"Sam, I-"

"Listen, okay, I know what you're going to say. You're going to tell me I need to tell someone, or that I need professional help, or something like that! But, let me tell you something-"

"That is far what I'm going to say. God damn it, your Sam Puckett, and you don't need some old person to tell you what's right or not. But, you do need to talk to someone. I know you have a hard time trusting people, for reasons I'm not going to ask about. I already know, so you don't need to go through the drama of telling me. So you can talk to me about if you want."

She looked at him questionably. "You're not going to tell me what's best for me?"

"Oh, yeah, I will tell you what's best for you." She looked at him in anger. "What's best for you, is what you think is best for you. In the end, you're the one making the decision. I can't force you not to cut yourself. I can advice you not to, and why I think you shouldn't. But it's up to you if you care what I say or not."

She looked at him in shock. Then did a half grin. "Thanks."

"So, do you want to talk about it?"

"I guess, I have to."

He nodded.

"I'd rather answer specific questions, if you don't mind."

"No problem. When did you start?"

"Several months ago."

"IN general, why exactly did you do it."

"Well one thing, I have control. I choose how deep, if I want it to be a mark, or bleed, and if I continue cutting myself."

"But why else."

"I-" THen her phoen buzzed just a second. "Text from Carly."

"What's it say?"

"It says, _SAM HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF! I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU! I'M TELLING SOMEBODY WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! MAYBE I'LL EVEN TAKE YOU TO A PROFESSIONAL! WHAT IS YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM! HURTING YOURSELF IS NOT THE ANSWER!__**"**_

She just stared at the phone. "You told." She whispered.

"No I didn't I swear-"

"Then how does she know!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"WHY DID YOU TELL!"

"I DIDN'T!" She glared at him, at full force.

She ran downstairs. He chased after her.

She got to the kitchen, he stopped when she pulled a knife out of the drawer. "Another step, and I will die. Not that you'd care though."

"Sam please, no!"

"What are you going to do to stop me?"

"I-I don't know."

"Freddie, I'm going to die. Now. Any last words."

"I-, sorry, I couldn't make your life better."

_Sam, why, why would you do that to yourself._

_you had a __**life**_

_and __**you killed yourself**_

_you couldn't take the __**pain**_

_so you __**gave up**_

_i wish I could have saved you_

_but it was __**your choice**_

_and I wont be upset about it_

_because it's what __**you wanted. **_

**This story is dedicated to those who cause themselves self harm, and have suicidal thoughts. Just know, when life is bad, don't give up. If you have those thoughts, talk to me, if you can't talk to someone else. BEcause I swear to God I will not judge you. Because I cut myself. And I have suicidal thoughts. So please, talk to me, if there is no one else. And please, do not judge me on this, if you knew me, if you had my life, you would understand. Thank you for your support.**


End file.
